Welcome back friends!
If you're new around here I am Ericka, this is 525 Fiber and Designs blog where we talk about all sorts of things, and today we are talking about messing up when you're new.
Raise your hand if you're a perfectionist.
Go ahead, it's ok, you're in good company.
Now raise your other hand if that desire to be perfect keeps you from ever trying new things because you might be bad at them, you might screw them up, or make a mess, or someone might see you and make fun of you...
Yeah, that's a lot of childhood trauma popping up right there, go ahead and talk to your therapist about that, I had to with mine and it took several months to work through most of it.
ps- my biggest fears for not starting new things were
1) making a mess of it- I don't DO messes, my life cannot be messy or I cannot function
2) being made fun of for messing it up-- oof that's a tough one, I have the outward need to look perfect so that no one can be cruel to me for being *gasp* human...
So know you aren't alone if perfectionism is keeping you from trying new things, but friend, it's time to deal with the fears that are requiring you to be perfect so that you can live your best Ms. Frizzle dream of making messes!
Anyways, back to what we were talking about, that's some free therapy for you right there :)
That time I messed up something new.
I started machine embroidering in the second half of 2023, I'd had my machine for literally 8 years collecting dust in the closet. I finally worked up the courage to be bad at something.
And boy was I.
So bad.
So many projects went sideways the first or second time I tried.
So many supplies "Wasted" while I was learning
It was a hot mess.
I wanted to quit every single time I messed something up.
My therapist and I talked about it every single week, how it's ok to be a beginner, how beginners aren't supposed to be perfect, how when you're teaching a child a new thing they mess up a lot, make silly mistakes, and literally waste a lot of things while learning-- think about all the milk spills while they learn to pour from a jug... so many spills!
And why should I be any different?
I was just learning a new skill, a very complex and complicated skill, one where the nuances are hard to pin down and though there are a million how to videos on the internet, some things simply have to be learned by making a mess.
SO, I messed up.
Today in fact.
A project that keeps calling to me, feels monumentally important to me, and won't let me sleep at night because I know I need to make it happen.
Basically, THE project that I need to be working on.
I messed that puppy up, two different times.
I had to talk with Solomon because I wanted to just be angry and quit because I couldn't get it right on the first try.
He talked me off the ledge, thankfully.
I took a break, went to YouTube, and tried again.
Annnnd I messed up again, but a little less messy than the first mess.
So progress.
At the time of this writing I haven't tried a third time, I had other things take my attention away, but I will try again tomorrow, and I promise myself to keep on trying until it gets as close to perfect as I can make it!
(because handmade is not expected to be perfect)
So why did I write all of this?
Because you need to see it, and I need to remind myself.
Quitting prematurely because you cannot achieve perfection gets you nothing and nowhere.
(and if we're being honest, shooting for perfect is a totally unfair goal, but that's for another time)
So friend, stop quitting- learn to be a better beginner.
Learn to be kind to yourself just like you are to a kid learning to do a new thing for the first time.
STOP being so scared to make a mistake- you're human, mistakes are literally how we learn!
**if you read this far, leave me a comment and promise you will learn to be a better beginner**